Editor's Note: The article below is intended to be utilized as a supplement to the first 13M Work-Life Balance article written by Kyle "MT" Moats titled 13M Work-Life Balance - A Perspective. The author presents another perspective from his own experience.
By Miles “BR” Blocker
This article serves as a supplement and added perspective to Kyle Moat’s article titled “13M Work-Life Balance – A Perspective”. I write from a minority position as a divorced 13M with no dependents, and it undoubtedly influences my view of work-life balance.
Single vs Family
There is an idea that without a spouse and dependents, you have more capacity for work and long hours. However, I contend that a lack of immediate family just means you have different priorities and challenges that are no less important to you and should also warrant balance. Single 13Ms also juggle the balls of work, health, spirit, and personal life. I believe that a life dedicated solely to work does not promote long-term life fulfillment though others may have a different balance to their lives. I know that I’ve made it a point to stress that not having a nuclear family to go home to does not make my time anymore or less valuable than those with families. If this resonates with you, I advise you to incorporate the idea into your feedback sessions both up and down the chain of command.
Organization Resistance to Balance
We usually don’t talk about the practical effect of dropping the work ball or even settling into a steady state of putting work in a lower priority tier. The Air Force is a demanding organization with an organizational culture that idealizes hard work, task completion, and competence. I know I’ve been frustrated by senior leader messages promoting the family and protecting white space only to be bombarded with 10 hot short notice TMT taskers from the wing/MAJCOM. When the chips fall, I cannot point to the mass email on resiliency as an excuse for why I chose not to answer an email until the next day when the boss needed it that hour. Understanding the true cost of letting the rubber work ball fall is just as important as understanding the cost of dropping the glass ones.
For those of us attempting to execute a plan of putting down the phone on weekends, getting home at a reasonable hour, and answering that Friday email on Monday, I prompt you to answer a few blunt questions:
- Are you ready for the potential consequence of implicit disappointment from your commander or commander’s commander?
- Can you make peace with the possibility of not getting a top-tier strat in your unit?
- Am I ok with not making O-5/6?
- What is my or my family’s threshold for work intrusion when I’m in an exceptionally challenging assignment (command, ultra-demanding boss, senior-level exec, etc…)?
Even the selfless servant leaders putting their troops first and accomplishing the mission need to think about consequences to self and career progression. If you are in a unit that allows for a flexible and balanced life, the above hypotheticals may not manifest into reality. However, I’ve been a part of enough organizations to know you’ll eventually be in a situation that isn’t readily conducive to the kind of work-life balance you’d like without those subtle consequences. There are some hard truths in serving, and we must all confront them at some point: revealing them earlier will help us live a more deliberate and satisfying life.
About the Author: Miles-Tyson “BR” Blocker is an active duty 13M currently stationed at Eglin AFB as the 96th OSS Director of Operations. He’s a 2008 graduate of USAFA and has deployed to multiple locations in Iraq in support of Operations IRAQI FREEDOM, NEW DAWN, and INHERENT RESOLVE. BR enjoys the gym, eating all the food (you read that right, ALL the food), and real estate investing in his off time.
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